Over the last eleven weeks, I have been privileged to share the heartfelt encouragement of some incredible Christian mamas! As we conclude the Mamas, Stronger Together – Guest Series, may we praise God for gifting us with our special role as mothers and for all of the inspirational mamas around to help spur us along on our motherhood journey. With lots of love and encouragement, Joy
Vividly, I can remember my first day of fashion school. I had graduated from high school and was commuting to San Francisco from my suburban hometown. On my first day, besides normal nerves running through me, I suddenly became self-conscious of what I was wearing—an asymmetrical hemmed soft, purple tie-dyed skirt with a black top, jean jacket, and wedge sandals.
“Was it trendy enough? Had I picked the right outfit to make a good impression?” I questioned to myself.
As I entered the auditorium for orientation, I tried hard to ignore all the eyes seemingly burning holes through me with looks of comparison. If ever I felt dragged into an unwanted competition with other women based on my looks and clothes, that was the moment.
Thankfully, things settled down on campus as we all made friends and became busy with our lessons and projects. But that horrible feeling of women competing against other women still remains strongly embedded in society’s unhealthy message throughout the decades, that we need to seek perfection and somehow be better than the woman next to us.
Fast-forwarding twenty years ahead: time, age, and becoming a mother have matured me to realize that I have a choice in the game of competition with other women, and I choose to not play along!
Having to stretch my heart for my husband and children and setting aside selfishness, has made me see that comparison in any shape or size is completely pointless. It can distract us from the most important people in our lives and sabotage friendships with other mothers. Social media platforms only stir up more jealousy, envy, and competition if we don’t have the right perspective for using it.
In a day and age where people, especially women, have such low self-esteem and too easily scroll through photo after photo thinking that they aren’t “good enough,” we Christian mamas have a very important question to contemplate:
Will we fall into the trap of comparison/competition with other mothers, or will we choose instead to lean into camaraderie?
I have that choice.
You have that choice.
And when we choose the latter, we start to grow and flourish in what really matters.
My friends, may we ask God to help us have a healthier perspective when it comes to other mamas and even how we view ourselves. Competition, if that is how we see other women, only tears down and destroys the potential for good to thrive, whereas camaraderie binds our hearts together, creating a positive explosion of life for the kingdom of God.
The truth is that God has created each one of us uniquely to fulfill our own good work, so comparison and competition truly have no place in gauging our worth or value. If we can be at peace and content with who God has made us, then we can more readily view other mothers with a kind, loving, hearts-open-wide perspective.
We are in this life together for a reason and a purpose beyond our individual circumstances.
Mamas, let’s go the completely opposite direction to what the world says. Let’s focus on God, focus on our husbands, focus on our children—then focus on building up the other mamas around us. The camaraderie of real mothers sharing the victories and struggles of life and motherhood binds us together as an impenetrable fortress against the evils of competition and comparison, seeking to isolate each mama to her own vulnerability.
Mamas, choose the camaraderie of other Christian mothers—it is there that you will positively discover that God has truly made us stronger together.
Love and blessings to each of you amazing mamas!