Joy A. Mead

When I was a little girl growing up in Northern California, I used to get excited when we would have a gray (American) weather day. In the land of plentiful sunshine, it felt like a novelty to experience an overcast sky and even better if accompanied by a drizzling shower. 

From time to time, I discuss with my British husband about how God must have known that I would need the accumulation of all that bright, warm sunny weather of childhood to help carry me through the many days and years of grey (British) weather so accustomed to the UK! We have had an exceptionally dreary and wet start to autumn, and I have to admit that after fourteen years living in Northwest London, my California sunshine reserves feel like they are running fairly low.

My observation of my own emotions and moods over the years is that I am greatly affected by the weather. Successive cloudy and dark days can be more challenging for me. Interestingly, I have also learned that in my emotionally-challenged, darker times, my heart and feelings seem to match our common British weather patterns. As humans, we often associate dark grey clouds with feeling sad and negative, and yellow sunshine with happy and positive feelings. 

The longer I live, I recognise that there are certain moments and seasons of our lives which are marked by sadness, loneliness, grief, uncertainty, etc. Losing a loved one, a marital challenge, losing a job, changing school, new schedule patterns, saying goodbye to friends that move away, children growing up and moving on to their next steps. These are events which cause us to recognise our emotions the most when otherwise, we would routinely carry on with our busy lives. 

We can feel ashamed or embarrassed to tell others if we’re feeling heavy-hearted. Though we all know that life comes with many challenges and there is such global brokenness, we fear sharing our internal struggles as if we might be judged or rejected by others. 

Personally, I have always tried to be a positive person, finding the silver lining in every situation which makes it even harder to admit when I do have an emotional struggle. I don’t want to hide my challenges and act like a fake person, yet I equally don’t want to be a burden to others or made to feel like they think less of me.

I am so thankful and relieved that no matter which family or friends we share our darkness with, God will always be there to listen, comfort, and build us back up in time.

Recently, I was going over Psalm 139. It is probably most well known for verses 13-16 which talk about God knowing us even when we were being formed in the womb, that we are wonderfully made, and that God knows all the days each one of us has to live.

Before that in Psalm 139:7-12, it says, “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”

How amazing are these verses for anyone who needs a reminder of hope and comfort in a dark place? 

“Even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”—Psalm 139:12

God understands our darkness and He loves us just the same as when we are filled with light. I am so relieved to know that nothing I face is too much for God to handle. He is our hope whether the sun in our hearts shines or clouds consume us temporarily with darkness. 

If you feel like you are struggling to see God’s hope in your life, know that you are not alone. Even the most optimistic person will have personal days of struggle. As humans, we will all have seasons of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges at various moments of our lives. 

But just when your supply of faith and hope seems to be running near empty, take comfort in knowing that God dearly loves you and he will remain steadfast throughout any difficult season you have to face. 

The darkness is as light to God, and because of this, we have nothing to fear.